An open letter to television *spoilers*

Dear Television

How long have we been best friends? You've had my back for more years than I care to remember. There were the glory days of The X Files and Firefly, of Futurama and Frasier. We even managed to weather the lean years when Sex and the City nearly drove us apart. But now we have come to this. Three shows over the weekend that let me down. Big time. Television, how could you do this to me? Does our friendship mean nothing to you?

More...

First there was Red Dwarf. Ah, the nights I would stay up to watch you show me the adventures of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten and Cat, muffling our laughter so we wouldn't wake the others in the house. You've been teasing me for weeks with the prospect of a new episode, after a decade of RD being off your screen. What happened, TV? Yes, the crew returned in the three part special titled 'Back to Earth', and I must admit it was good to see their faces again, but the magic was gone. The first part was one long set up without any jokes and no explanation of how or why the crew were back together. The second part was cliched and what a bad idea to bring in Coronation Street. The third part was derivative and ended abruptly. I know you say it was a homage to episodes in younger, brighter days, but when does a homage become rehashing of old story lines?

I could have forgiven you the Red Dwarf incident if - within a day - you hadn't hit me with a double whammy of despair. Even after the last few days I find it hard to make my fingers write about them. You know what I'm talking about, don't force me to say it, Telly.

All right, I will.

DOCTOR WHO!

We've had good times with the doctor, T, don't get me wrong. We've both loved David Tennant as the 10th regeneration and followed his journey eagerly. I'm sorry to see him leave, but you promised me four specials this year to see him out. Specials. Notice the word, Television. SPECIAL. There was nothing special about the hour long mish mash of Tomb Raider, Pitch Black and previous Dr Who episodes that was served up cold and greasy on Saturday night. If I didn't know better I would think you were trying to poison me.

What's that? You're trying to take the sting out of losing David Tennant by making me stop watching Dr Who before he leaves? I'm not going to thank you for that, TV. I wanted to burn my eyes out after watching Planet of the Dead. I don't know which part offended me most. Perhaps it was the inane Lara Croft wannabe Lady Christina who could hardly wipe the grin off her face long enough to say her lines, and squeezed in the obligatory 'kiss the Doctor' before she flew off in a flying bus. Maybe it was the atrocious over the top scientist played by Lee Evans and the idiotic bumblings of UNIT that would have made the Brigadier blush. It could even have been the fact that the paper thin story centred once more about strange things happening in London, that the characters had no emotional depth or the fact that I've seen darker stories with deeper meaning on the Teletubbies. You know what hurt worst of all? It was boring, Television. I almost fell asleep watching it.

Perhaps I could have recovered from the stab wound in the heart that was Doctor Who, but then you kicked me when I was down. Your crowning effort, Television, was to pummel me in the kidneys with Primeval, ITV's answer to Dr Who.

It's always been ropey. The science fiction wouldn't pass in a 1950's B movie, it is traditional monster of the week fare, but over the three series I've grown fond of the characters and, let's face it, series two was a real corker. It was darker, and started to lead the characters down an interesting path. I've been disappointed by the first three episodes of series three, but I've learned that sometimes you have to give things time to bubble in the first few episodes until they thicken into a more satisfying whole. You've taught me that, Television. I never thought you would betray me with your own lesson.

You killed off Cutter. Never mind that he was the lynchpin of the series - I could forgive you if you had killed him in an interesting, dynamic way. But no, you just shot him in cold blood and ruined the only truly interesting part of the programme - the power struggle between him and his pretty amazing anomaly hopping wife. I could even have forgiven that if the preview for next week's episode hadn't featured that brain dead, stereotyped police man from last week. Bring him in as a new character and that's it, we're over Television. For good. I mean it this time.

You know that this pains me more than it does you, but you really have to pull your weight in this relationship if our friendship is to continue.

Yours

Inky

Farewell Dr Who

Planet of the Dead airs on BBC 1 this evening.

It is the first of four special episodes wrapping up David Tennant's tour as the Doctor. I really like him as Dr Who. I think he brings the right mix of fun and seriousness to the role and he has become my favourite actor to play the 900 year old alien. I am looking forward to the episode tonight (the trailer makes it look suspiciously like the movie Pitch Black) but my excitement is bittersweet. I don't think I'll watch the show after he leaves. It's not because DT won't be in it anymore (although I will really miss him) but because I don't like the direction they are taking with the new Doctor. I dislike the fact that the Doctor is getting younger and younger with successive regenerations (he is from Galifrey, not Ork) and from what I have seen of Matt Smith, he is too close to the energy and mannerisms of DT. I'm sure he is a fine actor and I have nothing against him, but after the best Dr Who ever I want the next incarnation to go in a completely opposite direction to what we've seen for the last three years, and it doesn't look like they are going to do that with Matt. Shame.

Pushing Daisies

Apparently there was a song in the Eurovision last night entitled 'You're nobody until someone loves you'. Someone drew my attention to it this morning and spoke about the nature of love and the truth of the song title. It made me think of last nights episode of Pushing Daisies entitled Bitter Sweet. I think Pushing Daisies has a lot to say on the nature of love. Ned is totally devoted to Chuck - you only need to take one look at his goofy grin when he looks at Chuck to know he will love her til his dying breath - and the fact that they can never have a physical relationship makes their love even more poignant and pure. I also really love Olive and her love/crush on Ned. I would love to see them get together but I know that it is never going to happen because it would destroy Ned's undying love for (the undead) Chuck and I couldn't bear to see that happen. I love characters who have such precious fragile loyalty and fidelity. They are rare precious jewels that are so easily shattered and should be cherished in this world of mud and stones.

Chuck, played by Anna Friel

Anyway, this leads me to one of the nicest speeches I have heard on (romantic) love which was spoken by Alfredo the travelling salesman to Olive. You see, he loves Olive, but she doesn't notice him because she loves Ned. She asked him if he thought love could persist if you couldn't touch, hoping that he would say no because then she would have a chance that Ned would stop loving Chuck and realise he loved Olive. However, Alfredo thought this was the perfect time to declare how he felt about Olive and gave the following response:-

Alfredo played by Raul Esparza

If I loved you … then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty, and if I went blind then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind *

Olive Snook played by Kristin Chenoweth

I think it is a beautiful piece of writing on what love - real love - should be. A devoted force of the will that is not dependant upon lust, physical attraction, pleasure, or self gratification. Love that lasts hardships and time, disease decay and death. Love the way it should be and so seldom is. It is nice to see real love still being celebrated on tv.

Ned (aka the pie maker) played by Lee Pace

*Quote thanks to Give Me My Remote

Prader-Willi Syndrome

I saw a very interesting documentary on Prader-Willi Syndrome this evening. I had never heard of it before but, thanks to the information super highway, I was able to Google it after the programme and learn more than I ever need to know about this interesting syndrome. It effects boys and girls equally, is found throughout all ethic groups and doesn't seem to be passed on genetically. It is a genetic disorder caused by an anomaly in chromosome 15. That's all very well Inky, I hear you say, but what effect does Prader-Willi Syndrome (named after the two doctors who first described it and more commonly called PWS) have on its suffers? Well, it does so in many different ways but the main one is that they are obsessed with food.

Born with less muscle tone, a PWS child will usually sleep more than other children and develop at a slower rate. At around the age of two they become obsessed with food and will begin to put on weight, even without a change in diet. They need up to 50% less calories than non PWS sufferers but are unable to know when they are full and think about food constantly so, naturally enough, obesity is a big problem (no pun intended). They have developmental and behavioural problems as well. Their mindset is very rigid and they dislike a break in routine or change in circumstances. Once they get stuck on a point they can obsess on it and not deviate from it unless carefully distracted. They are prone to mood swings, violent outbursts, swearing and self harm. Physically they are often small in stature and sexual maturity is very delayed if indeed fully reached. They have small hands and feet, lack muscle tone, dislike exercise, have difficulties in social situations and sleep a lot. There is no cure and the only treatment is strict diet control and behaviour management. A person with PWS can never be left alone with food (or so claims the PWS association of Australia on their website) and independent living is not achievable.

The documentary showed three different people and their families living with PWS. One, a man in his 30's, travelled to India to see a holy man for a cure and was bitterly disappointed when he didn't get one. Another, a woman, resented her father suggesting she live in a care home for PWS where the kitchens are locked insisting it was a prison, despite the residents themselves telling her how good the place was and how someone with PWS couldn't live on their own (one woman had entered the care home weighing 32st and within a year was down to 14st. She was an enthusiastic supporter of the home and tried to convince the woman by sharing her own experience, but her story fell on deaf ears). The third person the programme followed was a young girl who, despite being eldest in her family, behaved more like the youngest and whose favourite fictional character was the incredible hulk (I hope this was a genuine liking on behalf of the child as it seemed just a bit too pat as regards the documentary needs. The girl could change on the drop of a hat from a very sweet, laughing child to a screaming, violent monster and her favourite character was the incredible hulk? You certainly didn't want to see her angry).

Anyone who knows me will be aware of my own battles with weight, obesity, food addiction, self harm, short statue and fondness of sleeping yet I know I don't have PWS and I'm not even trying to claim that I have. I know I have the will power to stop eating, that no one is to blame for the weight I carry but myself. I have nothing but admiration for those who CAN'T stop eating and who still fight against the hand they have been dealt - especially to the woman who lost 18st. It is all very well to say that you are addicted to food and that it is like a drug addiction where you have to take your drug every day to survive, but who started to abuse that drug in the first place? I know I turned to food for comfort, for its numbing goodness and companionship. I worked hard to get to the weight I am today and I have to work even harder to get it off. It is a struggle, it is one day at a time and it is darn hard. However, I chose this path. People with PWS didn't, and I applaud every single one of them and their families for taking the steps on that rocky path of weight control and succeeding.

Quote of the day:-

'The Pig Slaves Will Use The Lift'

Torchwood and other things

I watched the new episode of Torchwood on BBC 2 last night. It is a spin off series from Doctor Who and tries to be more 'adult' in its themes, hence the later time slot on BBC2 (usually after 8pm). I was disappointed in the first series but hoped it would find its feet and come back with a bang. It is a shame that the script writers didn't take the chance to be 'adult' and write darker, more complex horror and science fiction stories rather than just putting in sex. However, I was so disappointed in the new episode. The acting was so bad, it made the Teletubbies appear RADA trained. The direction switched from shaking, jumping cameras (so popular in modern entertainment) to still, staid set up shots. The lighting was flat and unimaginative. The sets creaked. The story would have been old hat in H. G Welles' time and the interplay between the characters was more like something on Eastenders with some aliens thrown in than what you would hope from some sci-fi show. I think all the good scripts are being given to Dr Who, which seems to get better and better, while Torchwood flounders in banality. I think they should extinguish its light now and save us from any more pain. I know I won't be watching it again.

Went to a quiz night in the golf club this evening with the gang. There was a good turn out, but I'm afraid to say we were robbed. No prizes won for us in either the quiz or the raffle.

Stargate owes me! *spoilers*

I am so depressed. I have just watched an episode of Stargate SG1 which has stolen the entire plot from my Iserie Valult novel, 24 Hours. (Look away now if you don't want to find out about either the book or the Stargate episode)

In the episode there are alien bugs, they are active in the dark, they have a prodigious reproductive rate and they can consume a human being in seconds. Also, they lay their eggs when they bite your flesh and eat you from the inside out. I know the idea wasn't exactly original (nothing special, as one reviewer noted) but it is depressing to see Stargate do it (and not pay you any royalties).

Sigh.

Convention Mania!

Me with friend at Dr Who Museum in Blackpool

I went to my first science fiction convention this weekend. It was in Blackpool and was called Starfury Decalogy (as in the ten year anniversary of Starfury conventions run by Sean Harry). There were plenty of guests there (Sean's favourite guests from the ten years, apparently) from lots of shows like Angel, Buffy, Firefly, X files, Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, etc. Most of the fans were Angel fans and everyone wore their show affiliation proudly on their chests (i.e t-shirts).

Here I am with Christian Kane (Lindsey from Angel)

All the guests were really nice. My stand outs for guest talks was Armin Shimerman. He is a very intelligent, witty, well educated, entertaining performer and gave brilliant answers to all the audience questions. I didn't get to meet him in person, but I gather he was as nice in person as on stage.

My personal favourites were Christian Kane (Lindsey from Angel, pictured above) and Juliet Landau (Drusilla from Angel and Buffy). Christian wasn't great on stage, but was really genuinely nice when I met him for my photo and at the autograph session. Plus he asked how to pronounce my name and said he loved it! (what a charmer). Juliet was equally friendly. That is not to say that the other guests I met weren't nice, it is just that Christian and Juliet stood out in my experience. Honourable mention also goes to Mark Sheppard (Badger from Firefly and Cecil L'Ively from The X Files) who loved my Nathan Fillion t-shirt and was very chatty.

My new best friend - Kaylee from Firefly (AKA Jewel Staite)

All the other people at the convention were really friendly and united in their love of the tv shows. There was a great feeling of camaraderie and even though there were a lot of delays and a lot of queuing, there were no unpleasant moments.

As for Blackpool. Well, it has 11 miles of sea front (mostly lined with hotels, amusements arcades, tattoo parlours and pound shops), lots of dogs, a huge roller coaster, a conspiracy museum, a Doctor Who exhibition, a sea life aquarium and lots and lot of slot machines. It also has a nice little Italian. The people in the shops and the hotel were very friendly.

If there was a down point to the convention, it was that the dealer room was poor. I expected lots of interesting stalls and a huge room full of merchandise, but it was a small room with a couple of tables and enthusiasts. I managed to pick up a few nice things all the same, but I was hoping to get some cool t-shirts (and this lovely serenity, firefly, browncoat lanyard I saw) but there were none to be found.

Now that my inner fangirl has finally been allowed to have her head, the only question is - when is the next convention?

Daisy and the Doctor

Did you see it? Were you watching? Dr Who last night on BBC1. Just when I had almost given up hope, they come along with this smashing episode - certainly the best episode of series 3 and possibly one of the best in the whole new series!

The dashing Doc

The story goes - The Doctor and Martha are being chased by this dangerous family of aliens who want (or need) a Time Lord to survive. In order to prevent being hunted down to the ends of space and time (they have his scent) he uses his chameleon machine to become human (if only Rose had known about that!) storing his Time Lord consciousness in a watch (a time piece - get it!). Then he jets off to 1913 England and becomes a school teacher in a boys school, with Martha as his maid, where he quickly falls in love with the school nurse, lonely widow Matron Joan.

Matron Joan - AKA Daisy Steiner

The episode is the first part of a two parter, so unfortunately I will have to wait til next Saturday to see the exciting conclusion. However, I have a few exciting things of note about the episode. The love interest for the Doc in the episode is none other than our own beloved wanna be writer - Daisy Steiner - passing herself off as a nurse, Matron Joan!

Daisy Steiner

But what of Tim Bisley, I hear you say? Indeed, what of Tim? For those of you who don't remember, Tim and Daisy pretended to be a couple to rent an apartment together (Daisy struggling writer, Tim aspiring comic book artist) and struck up a strong friendship which hinted at something more.

Tim can't believe the news

Despite two seasons of Spaced, Tim and Daisy never got together (romantically) but I lived in hope. Now I know there is a new man in Daisy's life, I am sad that I will never see her with Tim, but if she wasn't to end up with him, I couldn't be happier to see her in the arms of the Doctor.

Daisy and her new man - the Doctor

In other news, I really love the 1913 fashions they have in this episode. They are so flattering - to male and female alike - and are very dignified. I love the dress Daisy wears to the dance and Martha, the Doctor's companion, looks so much better in the old fashioned clothes and make up than she does in the modern slap.

1913 Martha

2007 Martha

The World's First Clone?

These two actors have always intrigued me by their similarities. The man in picture one is Mandy Patinkin, perhaps best known for playing Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride (now say it with me... 'Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die'). He was born on 30th November 1952 in Chicago Illinois. He is 6ft 3/4 ins tall. His full name is Mandel Bruce Patinkin. He is Jewish. He has been married to the same woman for 27 years. He has a couple of kids. Apart from being a talented actor he is also a successful singer.

The man in picture two is Kevin Kliner, perhaps best known for playing William Boone in the first season of Earth Final Conflict. He was born on 3rd May 1958 in Baltimore Maryland. He is 6ft 3ins tall. He has been married to the same woman for 9 years. He has a reputation for being difficult to work with.

Now look at the two pictures. These men have a a striking similarity, don't you think? In fact, they could almost be the same person. Maybe they are - maybe they were the world's first clones! I have no proof - yet - apart from the fact that they look and sound alike. They must be related somehow, they are so alike. Has anyone else noticed this?

Arlene Philips Shocker

Anyone who has watched the BBC show, Strictly Come Dancing, will know Arlene Philips. Now, think of this woman. Imagine her. Visualise what she looks like. Got a mental picture of her? Good.

What age would you say she was? In her fifties maybe?



63!


I can't believe it. I am in shock. Dance really is the secret of youth.

The 50 Greatest TV Dramas - according to C4

I caught a bit of this on Saturday night, but I was too tired to watch more than a few minutes. However, my interest was piqued by the fact that I had seen a clip from The Prisoner on the ads for the programme and I wanted to know where it placed. I was sure that Channel Four would put the list on their website, as they have with other similar minded shows, but they haven't as of yet. However, I have found the list (posted by some kind mortal on their blog, and from there to a forum) and I discovered that

a) The Prisoner ranked #38

b) Doctor Who ranked #26

c) The Sopranos ranked #1

The thing about the list is, I wonder what they define as a drama. It had things like Hill Street Blues, and The Sopranos, yet was predominately British. It had Pride and Prejudice, Z Cars, Roots, Band of Brothers, Bleak House, Shameless - rather an eclectic mix for dramas, don't you think? And where are The X Files? Also, I think both The Prisoner and Doctor Who should have ranked MUCH HIGHER than they did.

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