Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Things that shock people

I have learned from experience that you shock people when...
1. You wear purple eye shadow and a red top. I almost sent a make up woman on a film set into cardiac arrest once when I turned up with purple eye shadow and a red top. Ready for my close up? She thought not.
2. You tell people that you don't drink alcohol. I don't know what the experience of other non drinkers out there has been, but anytime I've told someone I don't drink alcohol they seem to take it as either a personal insult to their way of life or a challenge to make me drink before the night is through - or both. The look on their faces is almost akin to telling them I eat human flesh with fava beans for breakfast (minus the nice Chianti of course).
3. You pick the vegetarian choice on a menu. Ok, I'm not vegetarian but both knowing them and being mistaken for them has led me to realise that admitting to being one in public is almost as bad as saying you don't drink alcohol. Invariably when someone confesses to being vegetarian the meat heads in company will list all the animals they have eaten and how delicious they were.
4. You tell people you write horror fiction. Ok, maybe this one only applies to me. I've been called a dark horse when I told one person what I did. I'm not sure what horror writers look like, but maybe the goth look would be what people expect.


C. Crit said...

I don't know what to say... I'm shocked... I wasn't ready to hear your confessions...I can't take it in.

To be a horror writer and not drink is a shocking combination. How do you get to sleep at night?

Have you ever met anyone who didn't blench at any of your dark secrets?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I have been mixing the wrong eyeshadow and tops for years. Perhaps its the reason people leave the room when i arrive! Not drinking and choosing veggie are certainly conversation openers (to put it tactfully) and although i am neither veggie or teototal (alas) I have done both and know the comments. I don't know the shock value of being a horror writer (although my writing is possibly quite horrific) but to really quieten a room and have everyone totally embarrassed and disgusted, admit to going to Mass, believing in GOd, giving up things for Lent or liking the Catholic Church. Guaranteed to lose you a lot friendship and respect(sadly that's how superficial we all are)
still an interesting topic inky- to quote or mis quote either Hilare Belloc or maybe GK Chesterson 'your sins are scarlet but your books are red!!!'

Malice Blackheart said...

You don't drink? Wow-wee! LOL

Yeah, I have a number of friends with that disability, er, I mean disposition. *nudge*

I actually dated a girl for two years who never drank, and she was just as much fun as the others. Many people don't seem to realize that alcohol is actually an inhibitor, not an enhancer. In other words, fun people are fun anyway, regardless of their choice of sauce. Maybe it's just a function of many drinkers not having much of an imagination and needing a crutch.

Inkpot said...

I know C. I live a wild and exciting life on the edge. I should have posted a warning on this topic. I wouldn't want small children reading such terrible things.

Thanks Anon, good point.

Inkpot said...

Hi Mal, I hope you have recovered from my shocking news. :) Good point about not needing alcohol to have fun.