Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Diary of a Grinch

Dear readers
I apologise for my recent absence from the blogosphere. What started out as a simple case of the flu turned into something more curious. After a few days of bed rest I started to transform. First my skin turned a bilious green and then tufts of hair sprouted all over my body. Finally an overwhelming need to sing possessed me. However, my songs were not jolly. In fact, they were the opposite. Along with my transformation came a desire to cancel Christmas. I found myself sharpening a stake out of holly, in case any fat men decided to climb down my chimney. Sparkling lights and holiday decorations made me feel ill. The pressure of making presents got too much for me. I realised I had grinchitious. There is no known cure for this condition. It is also highly contagious. I've been in quarantine for the last few days.
There seems to be an epidemic of grinchitious in Dundalk at the moment, which is a good thing. If I have to go into town the traffic and shops are relatively quiet for this time of year, making my life easier. However, the endless Christmas songs in the shops tend to aggravate my condition, so it is six of one and half dozen of the other. If George Michael gives away his heart one more time I will track it down, stomp on it, and then fry it up with some garlic and onions and force him to eat it.
I will try and post a picture of my new appearance soon and I will also start checking out your blogs again and replying to your comments.
Your grinchy friend


Mercedes said...

Deck the halls with boughs of holly! Fa la la la....wha?!

*Mercedes screams, turns, and flees

Valpot said...

WOuld be interested to see what you do with GM's heart! :)

Anonymous said...

poor grinchey- what a dreadful condition- there is a cure but it is difficult to obtain- it is found in cosy hollow- seek it soon!!!

Aizan Suhaira said...

Yeah, I tend to grow green fur during festive season too.

Malice Blackheart said...

Hey Grinchpot,

Sorry to hear about your flewness. I myself have had trouble blogging through the Christmas scene, what with all the eating and bloating and the cold, which made made me too delirious to realize all I had to do was press a stupid button and reset my furnace.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you're one of the bloggers that really made my year, so Happy New Year!

Inkpot said...

Hee hee, good idea Mercedes. I hope you and your loved ones had a good holiday. :)

Something nasty, Valpot. I'm surprised you had to ask.

Jesse went to cosy hollow, anon, but she couldn't find the cure. It seems to wear off after Christmas though, so that's a good thing.

Hi Aizan. I think it is a seasonal disease. I hope you have fully recovered from it by now, or perhaps you like your green furry self? :)

Hi Mal, I hope you have recovered from the bloating and cold and had a good Christmas. Thank you for your kind words. I always look forward to your posts and comments and look forward to more of both in 2009. Grinchpot.

Ionafey said...

Wow, I wish I would have read this earlier. I'm totally with you. I can't stand Christmas nor those annoying songs. Argh!

Inkpot said...

Thank goodness they're over for another year Ionafey! :) I hope you survived the holidays in one piece.

Monster Master13 said...

I suffered the same except I turned evil.