The song says it all - accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
As a chronically negative person I find this very difficult. It is funny, I have no problem telling myself a hundred times a day how horrible I am, but when I try to tell myself I'm good at something, it sounds false. I think the negative 'affirmations' only sound genuine because they are so familiar.
Anyway, who wants to have anything to do with a sorry sack? Putting myself down isn't going to get me anywhere. I know I said I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions, and I'm not, but I am going to try and be more positive about things.
What do you do to keep positive, or do you think looking on the bright side is overrated?
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It is amazing how if I (or anyone else) voiced anything bordering on low self-esteem, you would be vigorous in saying what rubbish it was, and in reaffirming all my positive qualities. But you won't listen to anyone else telling you anything positive about yourself. You're only chronically negative about yourself, but it's time you gave yourself the same chance you give everyone else, at least!!!
My method of keeping positive is to listen to Inkpot (and believe half of what she says!!)
I think the difficulty is that so called positive people often appear to be false or deliberately unrealistic - pollyannas can be very irritating as can being given out to by superiour positive people. But the old adage about the glass being half full/half empty is true. we do not have to be false to be positive such see the same facts with different glasses. sometimes i think it helps to be grateful to God and people for what we have- that kind of inadvertantly makes us positive in a real rather than false way. another thing is to appreciate and praise the beauty/wonder of the world/people etc. This is a another good habit that doesn't lead to 'falsness'. about yourself, it is always hard when you have a habit of self criticism and negativity. things I do is to stop any 'rattle' in my head. I don't necessarily replace with 'positive' messages just stop saying/thinking the negative ones and trying to think of something else. There is no point anyone telling you what a wonderful person you are as you won't believe it but it is a good thing to think that you can help other people with your personalty/gifts/presence and indeed to be grateful for this. This will inadvertantly make you more positive. ANother trick is to think positively about other people, think it, say it etc it makes a good habit. Even getting into the habit of praise rather than criticism in general is a good habit (again I don't mean altering reality or the facts just to be positive but a kind of shift in mental attitude) In the end, i do believe gratitude makes for positivity but in a real way. We are all loved by GOd and willed into existance by Him and if we even have a glimmering of how wonderful that is it would make us all very positive and hopeful. I hope this makes sense- I am a negative person but I hope to improve and I am trying to.
very true, Valpot. Very true. I'm shocked you only listen to half of what I say! :D
Good points Anon. I agree the 'polyanna' type of positive thinking is very off putting. Also living in a happy dreamworld is just as bad as living in a negative one. I know this is going off on a tangent of sorts, but isn't it funny that it feels more 'realistic' to be downbeat and depressed about things than it does to be positive?
Stop worrying about being positive or negative and just get on with life (Advice from one who is great at giving it and lousy at living it.) Each of us is a bit like a book - some readers will love us, others (including ourselves perhaps) will dislike us and no one is right or wrong. Just be the book.
I tend not to trust people who are too positive, because, let's face it; life IS pretty horrible. I find people who are prepared to admit that are far more honest. And I think we do actually need to feel down sometimes, to feel up the others.
It’s just important to remind ourselves in times like that why we enjoy being alive. In my case, it’s writing poetry, and ranting about stupid people. And how much I enjoy feeding my face.
Anyway, Inkpot. Not only are you a clever writer, and a mean scramble player, but you're also damn good-looking.
So just remember how awesome you are when you're having one of those down days, which I presume would come often - that's what you get for living in a country where it rains 365 times a year. I mean, good god...
I find giving advicing easier than following it too, Scriptor, why is that? anyway, you are right. Just live life, not worry about how you should be living it.
Aww Mal, you've just made my day. :) Ah, the rain - yes, that's why I feel depressed so often. If only there was one day of sunshine a week. Ok, that's asking too much. One day of sunshine a year and I'd be happy.
They say that depressed people are the only ones who see the reality of the world. Positive people -- like my chronically optimistic husband -- have a built in ability to lie to themselves a bit and keep the harshness of life at bay. This is from a book about depression. I could look up the title for those interested.
Positivity is actually good for you, who knew! Actually, I tend to be positive for others and negative about myself. Looks like we still have that in common, Inky. :)
Thanks for this Iona. We sure do have that in common. :)
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